Three of the most popular model making subjects and the possibly quite interesting explanations for why none has ever appeared on my desk.
King Tiger
People will say that it’s just a big, badass tank and that’s the only reason why they like it so much. A bit shallow, arguably, but fair enough. But then some modellers undermine this assertion by adorning their King Tiger with black-suited figures and a certain red, white, and black flag…
If I neither knew nor cared anything about the dark spot of history which gave rise to this oversized and overweight white elephant of a tank, I may not be so predisposed against it. All tanks are weapons of war, of course, so I inevitably employ a dash of convenient cognitive dissonance when I make a model of any tank (especially one which was used by a totalitarian regime).
But we all decide to draw our lines somewhere. Nazi tanks are where I have to draw mine.
I find the King Tiger — even more so than most of its stablemates — to be strongly emblematic of the extreme malevolence and hubris of Nazism. I can’t separate one from the other. Consequently, the thought of modelling this kind of subject does not give me good vibes, as model making should, nor would it sit comfortably with my conscience.
Spitfire
From a technical viewpoint, I can appreciate the Spitfire. Although it does not warrant its reputation as the machine which won the Battle of Britain — not single-handedly — few designs from the same era can hold a candle to its longevity and versatility. Power output was more than doubled in its lifetime. They even managed to wedge a few 20mm cannon into it, after a fashion, and develop it into a just-about-usable carrier fighter.
Aesthetically, however, the hyperbole which surrounds it leaves me underwhelmed. All but the late variants and spin-off development types look a little quaint alongside slightly later contemporaries. Parked next to a P-47D or F6F, it looks anaemic.
More importantly than that, many other aircraft types can more readily be given an interesting [aka. weathered] treatment with far less risk of someone losing their shit on the internet.
But the biggest turn-off is that it’s a cliché. Along with its arch rival the Bf-109, it has gained almost unparalleled ubiquity in scale modelling. It can seem as though every modeller has made at least one Spitfire and some of them just won’t move on until they have made every possible variant and sub-variant. Twice.
I could also glibly point out that more than 20,000 were produced and there are quite a few around, so the world hardly needs another. But I’ve made a T-55, which does rather undermine that!
Biplanes
I have four (five?) of Eduard’s First World war biplane kits: DH-2, Albatros, Bristol F.2B, and dual-box Camel. And yet not one has even come in to land on the desk, never mind getting as far as the ‘cabinet of completion’ or even the ‘bin of shame’.
And why is that? I think you can guess. It’s that damn rigging.
Yep, just getting one of these boxes out of storage and contemplating how I would tackle rigging for the first time gives me the heebee jeebies and a terminal case of FoF (fear of failure). So I always put it back.
But since this is the New Year (or near enough), maybe I will break a rule — never make a promise which I can’t keep — and hereby make a New Year’s resolution to at least start a biplane kit in 2025.
No promises about finishing it in 2025, though!
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